Glorious Mud

When the Church tries to embody the rule of God in the forms of earthly power it may achieve that power, but it is no longer a sign of the kingdom. ― Lesslie Newbigin I recently rewatched Quentin Tarantino’s masterpiece of pacing and tension, Reservoir Dogs. Notorious for its profanity and violent imagery, it is broadly considered one of the most influential and important independent films ever made. Most of the movie is filmed in the suffocating confines of a former mortuary lined with coffins and a hurst, while the actors, full of sound and fury, are either dying or soon to be dead. The climactic scene of the movie comes when Mr. Blonde, the “bad guy” (in a room where even the good guy is a bad guy), cuts off the ear of a police officer while dancing to “Stuck in the Middle with You.” It was a moment where killers, men who had already bent the moral restraints of the law to suit their desires, were shocked by how far a bad man can spin into that badness. Like a Shakespearean t...

This week Lauren and I celebrated our 25th wedding anniversary.  I can honestly say that I love my wife and delight in her more than ever.  She is my best friend and the greatest gift God has given me on this earth.  Many have told me how lucky I am.  And I don't disagree, especially when you mean by lucky what the Psalmist meant by "blessed" - I have received what I have not deserved.  I never imagined as a teenager that my life would be so full and so blessed and I claim no credit for the lucky state in which I find myself.  What little wisdom I have discovered and exercised has been given to me by a gracious God who has protected me from my lack of wisdom more times than I can count or want to know. So, in honor of this Silver Anniversary, I thought I would share a little of the wisdom I have gleaned in 25 years of marriage with young dudes who are just starting their marriage journey.  Everyone likes lists, so I think I will give you 25 points to...

1.  Our marriage is older than we were when we got married. 2.  One of my first "love letters" to Lauren contained this line: "We go together like a buzzard and death." 3.  I realized this year - yes, only this year, after 22 years of marriage - that Lauren has the love language of "gifts." 4.  Love will cost you everything - but it gives you more back. 5.  I am horrible at celebrating things like birthdays and anniversaries. 6.  When we were dating, I wouldn't tell Lauren that I loved her till I knew I wanted to marry her. 7.  On the day I proposed to Lauren, she was planning to break up with me. 8.  I have countless failings, none of which were even hinted at in Lauren's blog post - 22 reasons why I love my husband . 9.  I am humbled and thankful to have a wife who chooses daily to see my strengths instead of focusing on my weaknesses. 10.  Lauren is my best friend and God's greatest gift to me.  I love and enjoy Lau...

I had a conversation with a friend last night about the use of "the five love languages."  If you are not familiar with the love language model, it is actually a very helpful model of how to understand the way those we love give and receive love - and how that differs from us.  It comes from a book by Dr. Gary Chapman called The Five Love Languages and I highly recommend it if you haven't read it. I can vouch that the model helped me love my wife better.  I am a words of affirmation and touch guy.  So I value Lauren's praise and her touch.  Lauren on the other hand is a works of service person.  She shows love by doing small acts of kindness or helpfulness - and she feels loved when I reciprocate. The tension here is obvious. In our early days so of marriage, I would walk up to Lauren and say oh-so-smoothly, "Hey, baby, you look good in that outfit" while laying my hands on her in an affirming way.  I sure liked it when Lauren did that to me - s...