Glorious Mud

    The Real Sin of Onan I was a teenage new believer the first time I heard someone talk about the “sin of Onan.” The message was clear—and honestly, kind of terrifying: don’t masturbate. God killed a guy for it once. That story, told in Genesis 38, got repeated in various youth group talks and church settings. Onan became shorthand for what not to do with your body when you’re alone. His name was a warning: “Don’t be like Onan.” Touch yourself like that and God might just touch you to kill you. But when I actually read the passage, I found that it doesn’t say what I was told it says. An Old Reading That Misses the Point It’s true that for centuries—especially in medieval Roman Catholic tradition—this passage was interpreted as a condemnation of any “spilling of seed.” The act of ejaculation outside the context of procreation, whether through withdrawal or masturbation, was viewed as inherently sinful. That interpretation shaped a lot of what was passed down in purity cu...

When the Church tries to embody the rule of God in the forms of earthly power it may achieve that power, but it is no longer a sign of the kingdom. ― Lesslie Newbigin I recently rewatched Quentin Tarantino’s masterpiece of pacing and tension, Reservoir Dogs. Notorious for its profanity and violent imagery, it is broadly considered one of the most influential and important independent films ever made. Most of the movie is filmed in the suffocating confines of a former mortuary lined with coffins and a hurst, while the actors, full of sound and fury, are either dying or soon to be dead. The climactic scene of the movie comes when Mr. Blonde, the “bad guy” (in a room where even the good guy is a bad guy), cuts off the ear of a police officer while dancing to “Stuck in the Middle with You.” It was a moment where killers, men who had already bent the moral restraints of the law to suit their desires, were shocked by how far a bad man can spin into that badness. Like a Shakespearean t...

I made a point in a recent sermon  that sometimes we block ourselves from growing in our faith with good theology. I think some people thought it was a strange point and I’d like to explain why I think it is a point worth making. First, to make it clear, theology is not the problem. Having a sound theology is a good thing - it helps clarify our thinking about ourselves and about God. It gives us a framework for understanding who God is, what he has done, and how we take hold of his covenant promises. It gives us a scope of God’s awesome control and nature and our dignity and depravity. All good things. Sound theology is (to quote Paul) “holy and righteous and good,” but sometimes how we use it isn’t. Culturally, we have a very low tolerance for sorrow and negative feelings. We are like the character Joy in the movie Inside Out. We want to draw a little circle around our sad feelings and say, “This is your place, you stay in there. Don’t touch anything.” And the circle we draw i...

Most people have heard of Jonathan Swift's classic novel, Gulliver's Travels. In it, Gulliver travels from one strange place to another, encountering tiny people, giant people, talking horses, and all kinds of adventures. Most people today think of it as a children's storybook because the scene where he is tied down on a beach by little people who feel threatened by him has made its way into almost every children's cartoon. But Gulliver's Travels is far from a children's storybook. It is an insightful and often cutting look at human nature. Swift was a careful observer of human behavior and lampooned it mercilessly. Swift was an Irish writer and clergyman and said that he wrote this novel to "vex the world, not divert it." I think we could use some of that vexing - and could do with some learning from it. In Gulliver's last adventure, he runs across creatures called "Yahoos." They are nasty creatures who horde shiny rocks and hur...

Last Sunday (March 26, 2017), I preached a message at Trailhead Church in Edwardsville, IL , called Sanctified Diversity, looking at Paul's rebuke of Peter for not "keeping in step with the truth of the gospel." The clear implication of this passage is that it's not enough to only know the truth as a follower of Jesus. You must also lean in and learn to live out its implications in the difficult spaces of life.  There are few areas that our culture needs us to lean in with gospel grace, humility, and empathy more than in the area of racial and cultural diversity. It's just not optional. We can be orthodox in our words and heretics with our lives, undermining the integrity of the message of the gospel because we are not walking in its power. To be true to the gospel, we need to do more than just believe its truths. We need to walk out their applications in our lives.  My sermon was called Sanctified Diversity . You can follow that link to listen to it on Tr...

Confession. We need it. And we hate it.  We hate to do it because it forces us to admit things about ourselves we don't want to admit. But we all have hidden things in our lives that sit in the dark and gnaw on our souls - things that scratch at locked doors of our conscience, aching to get out... things like weaknesses, shameful appetites, betrayals, besetting sins - they almost demand that we put them into words and share them. But to do so feels often like a form of death in itself. And this isn't a religious impulse. It's a human one. We all feel the need. All you have to do is look at the crazy popularity of a site like postsecret . I have to admit that I like postsecret. I find it intriguing and, at times, disturbing. I have sympathy for some confessions and repulsion at others. And there have been some wonderful stories that have emerged of people actually making real, personal, human connections with others through the site when someone recognizes their ...

Almost everyone I know has experienced post-regret, the feeling you get after you post something on social media and then wish you hadn't. I know a few people who haven't. Actually, I don't. Who hasn't jumped into the black hole of a Facebook argument or posted something personal in a moment of frustration only have the wrong people see it (and comment on it) or impulsively hit share on a witty-but-cutting meme or tweet? Social media is a great way to connect with others, but it is full of potential hazards and hassles. And, as a Christ-follower, this can be particularly dangerous, since what I say, post, repost, or share, reflects not just on me, but on my savior. So, how can I make wise social media decisions? In the hope of helping us all use our social media more responsibly and effectively, I thought through five questions that we should ask before we hit that "share" button: Is it true? As people of the Bible, this should be a no-brainer, but i...

Oops. Thought I had already written about this Psalm. Guess I started and got distracted. I love you, O Lord, my strength. The Lord is my rock and my fortress and my deliverer, my God, my rock, in whom I take refuge, my shield, and the horn of my salvation, my stronghold. I call upon the Lord, who is worthy to be praised, and I am saved from my enemies.   Psalm 18:1-2 The header this Psalm says that David wrote this on the day that God delivered him from Saul's hand. That had to be a good day for David. Saul was hunting David mercilessly and he had kept David on the run, hiding in caves, and continually exposed to danger. Worse, David was helpless to save himself. Once Saul climbed up into a cave to take a dump, and it just happened to be where David was hiding that day. Saul had no idea David was there in the darkness. Saul was completely exposed and David couldn't do anything because Saul was Israel's rightful king. As wicked as Saul was - as unjustly ...

Hit a busy stretch with a leadership retreat. Stayed in the Psalms, but stopped blogging. I am going to try to post a blog each day this week, but will take another break when I go on vacation at the end of the month. I know all three of you who read these really need to know this information... The heavens declare the glory of God, and the sky above proclaims his handiwork. Day to day pours out speech, and night to night reveals knowledge. There is no speech, nor are there words, whose voice is not heard. Their voice goes out through all the earth, and their words to the end of the world. In them he has set a tent for the sun, which comes out like a bridegroom leaving his chamber, and, like a strong man, runs its course with joy. Its rising is from the end of the heavens, and its circuit to the ends of them, and there is nothing hidden from its heat. The law of the Lord is perfect, reviving the soul... Psalm 19:1-7 I have loved Psalm 19 for as l...

Wondrously show your steadfast love, O savior of those who seek refuge from their adversaries at your right hand. Keep me as the apple of your eye; hide me in the shadow of your wings, from the wicked who do me violence, my deadly enemies who surround me. As for me, I shall behold your face in righteousness; When I awake, I shall be satisfied with your likeness. Psalm 17:7-9, 15 So, my heart is a little gloomy today. It's not a bad day by any means... just when I slow down and stop moving, my heart feels a little heavy. I have days like that - where I am restless and prone to feeling down. My fuse gets a little shorter. My mood a little drearier. My joy feels a little farther away. I have learned to watch my heart and to be aware that on days like this I am prone to see the dark side of things and to be more critical or more vulnerable to temptation. On days like this, God often feels farther away and I find it harder to get into the word. So, it has be...

I say to the Lord, "You are my Lord; I have no good apart from you." The Lord is my chosen portion and my cup; you hold my lot. The lines have fallen for me in pleasant places; indeed, I have a beautiful inheritance. You make known to me the path of life; in your presence there is fullness of joy; at your right hand are pleasures forevermore. Psalm 16:2, 5-6, 11 This only makes sense if you understand that God, the creator of all that is good, is himself the ultimate good. He is the original stuff. Whatever we call good in this life is only a portion of the real thing. Success. Romance. The perfect cup of coffee. Your baby's eyes locking on yours in recognition for the first time. All good, and all passing and incomplete. God, the giver of good gifts, is himself the greatest gift. His gifts were given to be enjoyed, but not as ends in of themselves. They were given to point us back to the giver, to see in him the original glory of goodness. ...

O Lord, who shall sojourn in your tent? Who shall dwell on your holy hill? He who walks blamelessly and does what is right and speaks truth in his heart. Psalm 15:1-2 Psalm 15 is an interesting contrast to Psalm 14. It goes from "There is none who does good, not even one" to "Who gets to live in God's house? He who walks blamelessly." Kind of highlights the mess of being human. If the requirement of living with God is walking blamelessly, doing what is right, and having a heart completely in tune with truth, I am beyond hopeless. Thank God, though, that Jesus is everything this Psalm tells me I have to be. (v2) Walks blamelessly, does right, always speaking truth in his heart? Check. (v3) Doesn't speak untruth about others to tear them down or misrepresent them in order to get a leg up on the competition or jockey for position among friends? Check. (v4) Isn't self-righteous or self-protective in his anger, but expresses a true and ...

The fool says in his heart, "There is no God." They are corrupt, they do abominable deeds,  there is none who do good. Psalm 14:1 This is not a condemnation of atheism. Philosophical atheists were far from common in the world during David's time. The world was polytheistic. They believed in many gods. Israel was unique among the nations because they were monotheistic. But everyone believed in the existence of gods. So, what did David mean? Probably something along the lines of: The fool says in his heart that there is no God in Israel. Israelites would have sung this Psalm, quietly rejoicing that they were not all those fools out there who believed all those silly gods. Funny enough, the Gentile nations thought that the Israelites were fools. Look at these people wandering around believing in one God when obviously there are so many different forces at play in our lives! And we do the same thing. We all have gods, and we all think others are fools for no...

Consider and answer me, O Lord my God; light up my eyes, lest I sleep the sleep of death, lest my enemy say, "I have prevailed over him," lest my foes rejoice because I am shaken. But I have trusted in your steadfast love; my heart shall rejoice in your salvation. Psalm 13:3-5 I just got done reading about a situation in a large church (that I very much respect) where broken, sinful people acted in broken, sinful ways. People were hurt. Damage was done. Well-meaning people made mistakes - or were being accused of making mistakes. The leaders could have handled it better. Or maybe they couldn't. It's a mess. And my heart is heavy. What's really messing with me, though, is how quickly and eager people are to jump on to the Shame-On-You bandwagon. Social media is a powerful platform for connection and communication - but it has a dark side. It has also become a chilling and powerful tool of social conformity through public shaming. Anyone with...

Save, O Lord, for the godly one is gone; for the faithful have vanished from among the children of man. The words of the Lord are pure words, like silver refined in a furnace on the ground, purified seven times. On every side the wicked prowl, as vileness is exalted among the children of man. Psalm 12:1, 6, 8 My life is honestly pretty easy. I live in a safe neighborhood. I have food on my table and no one is trying to steal it. I've got some college students who live near me who pee in their yard and have parties, but when I talk to them, they are receptive enough. My kids aren't in obvious danger in their daily lives. We are pretty safe. But I have realized that my experience is an exceptional one in human history - and even in the world today. All I have to do is surf over to CNN or Huffington Post to get updates on all the latest atrocities around the world. If I surf over to the Post Dispatch's website, I can get updates on all the human suff...

In the Lord I take refuge;  how can you say to my soul, "Flee like a bird to the mountain, for behold, the wicked bend the bow; they have fitted their arrow to the string to shoot in the dark at the upright in heart..." The Lord is in his holy temple; the Lord's throne is in heaven; his eyes see, his eyelids test the children of man. The Lord tests the righteous... Psalm 11:1, 4-5 Yesterday Psalm 10 focused my attention on the theme of suffering and how it makes God feel far away even though he's not. Psalm 11 deals with the same theme. It starts with images that speak of feeling helpless, exposed, vulnerable, and attacked.  He feels like a small bird that needs to fly away quickly to a high place to find safety from an enemy that sits in a place of safety, able to take random shots at David even in the dark. That's a crappy place to be and a horrible way to feel. I hate to feel helpless. That is probably one of the worst things I can f...

Why, O Lord, do you stand far away? Why do you hide yourself in times of trouble? Arise, O Lord; O God, lift up your hand; forget not the afflicted! O Lord, you hear the desire of the afflicted; you will strengthen their heart; you will incline your ear to do justice to the fatherless and the oppressed, so that man who is of the earth may strike terror no more. Psalm 10:1, 12, 17-18 Two things struck me in this Psalm. The first is that we are not alone if God feels far away from us when we suffer (or witness suffering). David leads out with what is often our question in suffering: Where is God? Why does he feel so far away? Is he even there? I have lived an incredibly privileged life and my suffering has, most of the time, come at my own hands from my own foolishness. I have been abused and hurt and wronged, and have had to work through feelings of abandonment, vulnerability, and fear. But when I sit with a couple who lost their baby and they say, Where is ...

For the needy shall not always be forgotten, and the hope of the poor shall not perish forever. Arise, O Lord! Let not man prevail; let the nations be judged before you! Put them in fear, O Lord! Let the nations know that they are but men! Psalm 9:18-20 There's a lot of talk about "social justice" in the church these days - giving a voice to the marginalized, power to the disempowered, and dignity to the forgotten and poor. I am glad for the talk. It needs to be talked about. It is too easy to sit in the seat of privilege and forget that my experience of being treated in a generally fair way and that all the advantages I don't even notice are not universally experienced. I am thankful for the promise of these verses. Injustice exists because God's order has been upended and his kingdom rejected. We have rejected God's glory for our own. We have rejected community for competition. We have rejected humble dignity for prideful fear. As a re...

O Lord, Our Lord, how majestic is your name in all the earth! You have set your glory above the heavens. Out of the mouth of babies and infants,  You have established strength because of your foes, to still the enemy and avenger. When I look at your heavens, the works of your fingers, the moon and the stars, which you have set in place, what is man that you are mindful of him, and the son of man that you care for him? Psalm 8:1-4 I love this Psalm. It has been one of my favorites from the early days of my faith. I looked it up when I was reading Hebrews 2 the night I became a believer. It resonated with me then and it resonates with me now. I reminds me of a night somewhere in the early 1980's when I was at a party in some gravel pits in Northern California. I had climbed to the top of a huge pile of gravel and was standing far above the party below. I don't know why I climbed up there. No purpose. But I remember looking up and being overwhelmed. I ...

God is a righteous judge, and a God who feels indignation every day. I will give to the Lord the thanks due to his righteousness, and I will sing praise to the name of the Lord, the Most High. Psalm 7:11, 17 I love to meditate on the grace of God. It is a beautiful welcome and, as the song says, endless second chances.  I love grace. But God's grace to me comes at a dear price to him. He is a righteous judge (the one to be truly so), and is provoked by the unrighteous behavior he sees every day, moment by moment. He sits over a world he created to center on his glory and to exist in the atmosphere of his Shalom (his peace, balance, life, and wholeness). But that world has gone crazy. I can't stand to read the news. The Internet has made the world too small. Every crisis is reported to me before it even has a chance to be played out. Every massacre. Every rape. Every child starving while there is plenty food to feed them. Every self-centered and self-glorifying ...